Today Graeme Garvey puts himself in place of another, the beloved stewards of Elland Road, using a game that has gone down in folklaw as his template.
Let me start with a question. Who attends every match at Elland Road, spends every minute of each game just inches from the pitch, is not blind yet never sees a thing? You’ve got it. Me, a steward. And I’ll be honest, I love my job.
Imagine being paid to go to football! Many people might envy me my work, looking all official in an orange coat and having the power to tell people to sit down. Yes, it is a little bit glamorous, I’ll admit but me and my colleagues take our jobs very seriously. It’s damned hard work. We are always watching for telltale signs of trouble from the fans. Their faces are amazing – like open books. They show everything. Smiles, happiness and joy can give way in a split-second to pain and despair.
Probably the best way to show this is to describe a recent match, giving a flavour of what I do. Leeds played Swindon in the Carling Cup in late September. I was there a full hour before kick off (and a full hour after the crowd had left). As I made my way from the comfort and safety of our mustering point, I stole a quick peek at the pitch before the real work started. After that, I just watched faces in the crowd and was ever ready, on the lookout for any sudden increase in excitement or anger. The first half went pretty well to be honest. It always is if Leeds are playing towards the South Stand and not much is really happening. And, in that case, the most annoying thing is trying to get everyone to sit down. When will they learn that they are not supposed to stand up any more? No sooner have we got most of them seated – apart from the inevitable ones at the back – when something on the pitch has them all standing up again.
The second half was going quite nicely and after about 73 minutes, Swindon went two up. I thought I was going to have an easy night of it. That was until Harte scored. The Kop leapt up, as usual and we had to try to quieten them – as usual. After that we were forever on the go, trying to make them sit down, making sure they behaved. We had done a pretty good job of it, until injury time. Then all hell broke loose. When a corner is coming in to the Kop goal, it’s pointless telling anyone to sit down. My watch told me it was well in to injury time and suddenly everyone went crazy. I’ve never seen anything like it. Absolute bedlam. I knew someone had scored but I thought it was a mistake when they announced it was the Leeds goalie, Paul Robinson. That explained why there was such an unforgettable look of disbelief as well as joy on the fans’ faces. I must admit, for once I was tempted to look round and see what was making them so delirious but my professionalism prevailed. Of course, it turned out later that he had come up in desperation and scored with a header. Bet he was pleased.
That was just the start of our hard work what with extra time and penalties. It must have been really off-putting for the Swindon players to have to take penalties into the Kop end as thousands of Leeds fans jeered and whistled at them. But the Leeds players must have loved the same fans’ reaction when they scored. And to win 4-3 like that! No wonder everyone was happy but then we had to really earn our pay and make sure nothing got out of hand.
Thankfully, there were no incidents. No one tried to run on the pitch or do anything silly. Still, it’s better to be safe than sorry. I was so pleased to make it back to the muster point for a well-earned cup of tea and a chat with my colleagues. And no, we don’t sit in a circle with our backs to each other.
I like my job and, if the football’s really good, I can always watch it on telly.
Graeme Garvey.


