Your reading a pre 2010-11 archived article

Two weekends into the new Premier League season and already we are witness to the wonderful range of whinging, moaning and one-eyed comments that have become compulsory with top division managers and coaches. Egged on by the controversial provoking nonsense that is the John Champions of this world and badgered by questions so convoluted they grate before they end the usual suspects have clearly had a good pre-season practising imaging injustice and perfecting outrage and as is usually the case, making bigger fools of themselves than they make of the referee/player/other manager attacked. It was always thus.

This weekend we witnessed two classic examples of why the Football Association should impose on the media a similar “no talking to managers for 30 minutes after the game ends” rule that is imposed on managers when thinking about approaching referees. Portsmouth’s Paul Hart and Blackburn’s Sam Allardyce gave us an exhibition of the art of accusation before establishing the facts. Before I go on to ritually humiliate this two an important point needs to be made. Managers like Allardyce and Redknapp who support the invading presence of video technology (“it would only take 10 seconds” is the incessant cry) seem incapable of using said tool to check before talking to the television companies that provide it. The FA didn’t help with the idiotic ban on TV’s being on benches while games are on that came in last season, the consequence of which is to provide managers with more scope to make unfounded criticisms.

Allardyce was particularly on form after the Sunderland game. The video showed clearly that the two disallowed goals were spot on decisions, with Samba the culprit on both occasions. Match of the Day at least had the decency to show the first incident as they broadcast his illogical blast, with the flying barge of the goalkeeper so blatant as to nearly constitute an assault. Now given that Allardyce is a poor man’s Sir Alex Ferguson on matters moaning (although to be fair to SAF he hasn’t really kicked it his season yet, he will though) it comes as no surprise he doesn’t understand that standing on the other teams goalies toes, on the goal line, constitutes interfering with play! Not for lesser bigger Sam than he was an analysis that lump ball didn’t work (apparently Allardyce gave his team an ear-full after a first half of productive ball-passing that brought the best out of his lone striker), that would involve being self-critical, something he couldn’t do if his life depended on it. Just to prove the point, when a day or so later (where no “sorry” towards the ref he lambasted was forthcoming) Blackburn’s well paid manager managed to paint the whole club as “a small town outfit” and that the reason he was losing Warnock to Villa and not attracting decent players was he hasn’t got the Jack Walker millions. With that level of innate public relations skill I sense he isn’t long for that job.

Sitting in the opposite dug-out was old conspiracy theory specialist Steve Bruce. Whilst not given a decent excuse to have a go after the victory he has still managed to spend the whole of the season so far ranting about fixture congestion, his main beef being he is having to rest players after 4 games!! Well such a line does rather lack credibility when your squad is still 50 players strong and you can throw in the likes of Healy and Reid for League Cup ties. Maybe if you had confidence in their fitness regime you could use rotation with the same productivity this seasons temporary Chelsea saviour does. Ancelotti is yet to come out of the media love-in that spookily replicated the same love-in that Scolari was in this time last season, but he is Italian so we will either get a Zola style “at peace with the world” or a Vialli style soap-opera at some point.

Anyway back to this week’s main offenders and specifically Paul Hart. As if this man isn’t under enough pressure already, managing a club no-one is sure who is going to own it, no transfer funds (although given that Hart has been Academy Director at pompay for a few years you’d think he’d use that experience to blood a few of his own products) and a previous management record that exudes failure. Cue a visit to the Emirates and we are witness to an early leader for this season most pathetic interview. In a monologue it must have taken hours for the VT editor to sort out Hart went on to state that if the referee had sent Gallas off for the heinous crime of being nearest Arsenal player to his own as that player kicked the back of his own leg, then his team would have gone on to win, right. Not only was he so wrong about the incident it was painful his attitude shows he has no place as a PL managers, he doesn’t want the rules or fair play to decide games he wants then decided by referees so scared by the pressure put on them they give decisions to save their careers. Utterly sickening and yet not so out of line with a series of similar managers throughout the leagues, like the world class “Colin” Mr Neil Warnock (well you didn’t think I was going to exclude him just because he manages in the Championship did you?). If Hart isn’t charged for this then the game becomes a little bit more like gridiron, something we will all regret.

Maybe Hart felt he could be so uniquely prejudiced because of the admission from Wenger in the build up to the game that he put protecting his players before he has looked at an incident again before hanging them out to dry. Will this admission lead to those who call Arsene a bad loser to reassess, well of course not, such people have a set position that no amount of factual interference with their opinion will change, the Alan Smith/Leeds United syndrome writ large. Wenger at least has the restraint of his team setting off like an house on fire despite the pundits lining up to suggest they are rubbish. David Moyes on the other hand as no such restraint but instead a major case of the thwarted ego. His behaviour over the Lescott transfer saga has exhibited a singular head in the sand attitude that has done nothing for his club or his reputation. Now interestingly if he had succeeded in cowering Man City and Lescott it would have reinforced his position as SAF’s natural successor, but alas reality kicked in. After 8 years a certain sameness is evident at Everton and when you factor in the 4-5-1/4-6-0 formation being practised at Goodison the less we see of them this season the better for all.

Obviously reference to Lescott brings us to Mark Hughes, normally in any discussion about one-eyed managers he would writ as large as a colossus, but he seems to have mellowed a little since he spread £215m around like confetti. Similarly would someone please release the real Rafael Benitez, because the one that did the interview after this team got humiliated at home to Villa clearly wasn’t him. The real one would have ranged on about the second goal (although again a nano second of thought would place any rational man fully on the side of Martin Atkinson) in that “on the verge of tears” way only he can muster. Instead the real Rafa primed his double with ammunition to fire at his own players, and to be fair it’s almost a relief that Gerrard is no longer “untouchable” when criticism is being bandied about. Now maybe, just maybe the reason why we didn’t get a tirade on the second goal was simple, Benitez looked at the incident again and was clearly struck on how the real issue was a defence so disorganised he must have felt professional embarrassment.

In the end there is a real sense that “less is more” when it comes to moaning football managers, that you get more respect and a better hearing if you’re not a serial idiot, programmed to excuses and finger-pointing ala Kevin Blackwell. For the Martinez’s and Hodgson’s of this world we can only give grateful thanks.