Archive for July, 2009

Glass Half Empty Original

Jul 28th, 09 / Comments Off

Your reading a pre 2010-11 archived article

This post was originally written for www.thescratchingshed.com under the cover of “Grumpy Older Man”.

I tend to find it is difficult to express a reality analysis of the strengths and weaknesses of our squad without provoking a stream of arguments very rarely productive. People rightly want to think the best of a forth-coming season, want to disengage from the recent history and form of players and turn a blind eye to the flaws in management and club structure. In the case of a club about to enter its 6th season outside its natural home of the top division and 8th season since it could indulge the idiocy of sacking managers who finish 5th in the Premier League that need is particularly strong. It is however, like the PR generated by the club and associated myth makers, all too easily exposed and, in a polite and hopefully incisive manner, I will now do so.

Let’s start from the base reality, 4th last season was more than a true reflection of our squad, with a bit less selfishness on some players part last December and perhaps more faith by us the support in the better ball-playing players at Elland Road in the early part of last season we might have got closer to the automatic promotion places but we never convinced that was on. We weren’t unlucky, Peterborough and Leicester were clearly better than us, Scunthorpe were a good team who would rightly feel they had a shot at top 2, as were MK Dons in my opinion. The irony of losing to the one squad we were better than in the play-offs still irks. We secured the play-offs through a temporary strengthening of the central defense, by letting our youthful midfield find its feet and by Becchio’s work supplementing Beckford’s chance fests. Without our home form we could have missed out.

Grayson’s part in that was IMHO limited to the use of Naylor, the rest he inherited and used due to circumstances dictating. Given a choice he would have reverted to a more robust midfield and more direct game earlier than the play-offs (and the practice game away at Leicester indicated that). Fact is when we reverted to his preferred modus operandi; we stalled and on this occasion didn’t even make Wembley. In some other respects Grayson couldn’t really change anything, Richardson or Douglas at right-back was always a no win choice but in others he could have, the supporting on loan strikers (Trundle and Dickinson) were awful, Robinson before Johnson in left-midfield substitutions very questionable and (very controversial from me), pairing Sodje with Naylor left us vulnerable to decent pace and skillful forwards.

So that being the case, and accepting the relegation of Norwich and Charlton (and maybe Southampton if they get off to a decent start), the top 6 nature of MK Dons and Millwall and the strengthening of Huddesfield, Oldham, Brighton, Colchester and as an outside bet Wycombe make the division more competitive, we have to try and see how the close season has changed anything positive for us. Whatever qualities Douglas brought in leadership that I and others missed (I never stop being amazed how being thick, tactically illiterate and a angry gobshite gets classed as leadership, but to be fair its rampant in the Premier League also) he lacked in passing, shooting and decent tackling, his re-appearance at Swindon tells us all we need to know about how he is rated outside of the Mark Ford Appreciation Society that lives in part of the kop. Equally losing Lucas and Sweeney causes no-one concern. Richardson could perhaps have expected a little more fan-fare on his departure but in truth he stayed two seasons too long. But it’s not just who has left, it’s also who hasn’t when they probably should! You look at Kandol, Showamni, Hughes, Prutton, Sheehan and maybe Marques and you struggle to see how they can expect a regular first team spot (I rate a couple of those players but not so much that I’d tie them down until September 1st). You see Michalik, Johnson, Robinson and Ankergran and you wonder whether we have already seen their peak (and in a couple of cases not being impressed with it). Factor in the inevitable departure of Beckford and Delph (I see no point discussing will they won’t they be sold, 5 weeks to go still, it takes some blind spot to believe they will be with us come September 1st) and you have an whole team worth of issues. Additionally there is the rather disconcerting number of stories suggesting that our better players (Becchio, Snodgrass, Kilkenny, Howson) are being considered by PL and CCC clubs (again I see no point in arguing the “do we need to sell, don’t we need to sell” point, Bates’s record on never missing an opportunity to cash in is 40 years old and counting and to believe a word he says on finance is to be truly naive). Even our kids aren’t safe, when Garbett joined the Rose’s who previously joined the Lennon’s, Milner’s, Kilgallon’s and Carson’s on the roller-coaster out of Boston Spa those of us with a more jaundiced view immediately start to look at White and fear the worst!

So with the prospect of a serious exudes still on the cards we have to focus on the incomings and to be honest underwhelmed is understating it. Crowe and Higgs have signed from clubs relegated from the division we are trying to get promoted out of, Kisborno played a bit part in Leicester’s 08-09 season and has injury issues (as does Naylor who is Grayson’s only half-decent signing so far). Feeney was clearly coming and only a miracle saved us from another player approaching or over 30, given 2/3/4 year contracts on wages in the top half of the CCC. I fail to see where these signings fit into a medium term approach to turning the club around and back into the mainstream. Some of you will say it doesn’t matter so long as we get out of the division, I say it matters a lot, L1 players don’t get you promotion, good players who adapt to differing levels do (examples, Beckford is a successful L1 player who would struggle in the present Barnsley team to score goals never mind a decent CCC side, Becchio would adapt to a higher level with ease) and also play decent passing football.

Now I will restrain myself from additional criticism of Grayson in terms of transfer targets, in reality he is, like the two managers before him, constrained by the existence of Gwyn Williams in his Technical Director role, in truth, our clubs transfer man since Bates pocketed us. Now the Wise/Williams relationship was one of agreed distinct roles, the McAllister/Williams relationship seemed to look like a give and take, “I’ll agree to take Robinson and Showamni so long as I get Becchio” style, Grayson/Williams seems to be more of a meeting of like minds! But even in those circumstances a restraint exists. If Grayson isn’t to fail he as to do what McAllister couldn’t do, assert his football choices and not accept imposed players (irony alert, both Beckford and Marques were imposed players as was Livermore, Sheehan and the best of all time Elding). Now I happen to believe if Grayson had full reign on transfers our squad would soon have no quality at all in it but as a principle (and based on Williams erratic Leeds record) I want Grayson to have what McAllister never had.

So all in all you can choose to look at the forth-coming season rationally or you can buy the propaganda so efficiently pumped out on the club’s behalf by Paul Dews and co. Yes football support is an emotive thing also and faith plays its part but delusion is a pricey business in the long term. Bates can talk of targets and signings to come, the club can regurgitate the “don’t need to sell” line all summer, Dews can keep posting statements on the website from Grayson that we are building for automatic promotion and for his, Bates and Harvey’s sake that had better be right (a bad start this season and the rose spectacles are off for ever) but none of that will hide this reality: that for everyone who is “quietly confident,”  about this 2009-10 season there  is another who having looked with cold dispassion at the squad, manager and state of the club is as a consequence heading towards being despondent. They will find me already occupying that space.

Grumpy Older Man, late July 09.

Contributions on the Leeds United Quagmire

That time of year again….

Jul 26th, 09 / Comments Off

No copyright issues here.

As the close season gets shorter and television saturation beams games involving Premier League clubs live from every Asian city that would host them it becomes important to have a fixed point where it’s appropriate to start getting excited about the new season. In my case it isn’t the first pre-season friendly I attend (which this year was Kingstonian v Hampton and Richmond Borough, a game that seemed to indicate that the 7th division of English football had more passing and moving in it than the 3rd) instead it is the annual arrival of my mate Nick’s footy prediction league.

Nick’s prediction league, which has been running in various guises for over 10 years, is a good-un, covering all the elements, English leagues down to Conference, Scottish, European, live games including internationals, top scorer, team of the season and the obligatory tie-breaker question. For a small entrance fee about 30 of us have a season long competition, peppered with updates from the co-ordinator. I mention this not to advertise it, Nick doesn’t need it to grow any bigger, but as a prelude to a confession, I have had a mare in it every season for the last 6!

My problem is simple, I will always put my principles (or as my mates put it, prejudices) in front of winning, so no ManU winning anything, no Chelski either, no Celtic/Rangers 1-2, no Madrid, Milan or Munich winning their respective leagues, every year the same avoidance of the greedy clubs, every year the same good natured abuse from the rest of the competitors and every year the same humiliation. Also accompanying this is what’s known as the MG curse, basically I also always back a player from a non top 4 club as top scorer and litter my team of the year likewise and every year the curse strikes. Dean Ashton and Michael Chopra’s careers have never been the same! It happens too often to be co-incidence.

In an attempt to finally establish the scientific basis of the curse i have been inundated with requests to test it to an ultimate breaking point, basically I should back in 2009-10 all the clubs/players/managers whom I detest to see if some unprecedented failure should overcome them. I was resisting that until the moment I heard the Gerrard affray verdict where upon a overwhelming feeling of power overcame me (well disbelief, followed by anger for the death of even-handed British justice) and I decided there were so many deserving of my curse it was time to inflict it on the pampered overpaid pile of shite that this one time potential England captain is a manifest representation for. Yes I’m aware that if you try to create something that happens naturally it works less effectively but unless I grasp the nettle we may never know it’s true potential.

Clearly I won’t be replicating the whole form here, far too long but as a snippet here is my Team of the Season, with top goal scorer and manager of the year, all picked on their capacity to irritate and offend and deserving of bad luck and career knockback. As an added bonus I will be backing ManU to win everything they enter, can’t say fairer than that!

Top Goalscorer: Wayne Rooney. Pug just doesn’t change does he, gobby on the pitch, a bit part in his wife’s soap opera off it, prepared to let SAF play him in any position except the one that suits him, yet to use his youth boxing skills on a innocent member of the public productively but maybe that’s because “once a blue always a blue”, although to be fair can alienate both sides of his home town equally effectively.

Manager of the Year (joint award for tie): Sam Allardyce and Phil Brown. When these two buddies inflicted their anti-football on the world in the late 90’s and perfected it in the PL at Bolton how could we know that despite the evidence from their first stints of running clubs without the others assistance (Newcastle and Derby) they would both still contend they are gods gift to management!! I can’t decide which I dislike the most, Allardyces whinge that only his brummie accent stopped him getting the England job or Brown celebrating one win in 30 games as the equivalent of a World Cup win. I’m sure the good supporters of Blackburn and Hull are licking their lips at the footyfest to come!

Team of the year (4:3:1:2).
GK: Shay Given. Controversial choice this, some see a world class goalie who was rewarded for his years of Toon service with one of the early post Arab money City deals. I see a mercenary, slightly over-rated and a real streak of delusion about him. Yes I could have picked others for this position but sometimes you need to be ahead of the game.
RB: Glen Johnson. Dartford’s finest shop-lifter is already on his 4th PL club, up there with the Bowyers and Irelands of this world in intellectual rigour. Just as he looks like he might have a European class game he inevitability reverts to inconsistency. A classic example of the modern curse of taking an athlete and trying to make them footballers.
LB: Ashley Cole. No contest, where else can you find such a package of arrogance, idiocy, celebrity culture and popularity in such a small package. Not content with occasional attempted leg-breaking tackles and abusive mouth Mr Cole A also does a running commentary on his psychological obsession with hating Arsenal despite all they did for his career, apparently they didn’t think he was worth £80k a week, scandalous, expensive at twice the price.
CB1: Nemanja Vidic. So your player of the season, despite being humiliated in the game of the season and getting sent off in the World Club Final. The respect he gets seems to be because of his ability to tug, shove, elbow and kick off at the drop of a hat. Such qualities make him potentially a new Beckenbauer, or is that Ian Ure.
CB2: John Terry. It matters not whether it’s at Chelski or City, this over-rated bouncer-bashing loon will still be on £200k a week, still carrying more injuries than an average London A+E unit on a Saturday night and still a disgraceful choice as an England captain. To be fair though, he will always have that penalty!
RM: David Beckham. You know it’s going to happen, a loan move back to England, back to his scummer mates so he can show the best league in the world how to he has lost his legs, float predictable balls into the box, jump on barriers offering supporters out when the mildest criticism is heard, all in the cause of making the England squad for South Africa so he can go into the record books as having been to 4 World Cups and being a fucking liability in them all.
CM: John Mikel Obi. Has there ever been a player so widely hyped that produces so little. ManU must consider they had a lucky escape making £16m on a player they never actually signed! Recent recipient of a new 5 year contract and a driving ban, well maybe he aspires to Jermaine Pennant standards!
LM: Rory Delap. Saints preserve us from the long-throw game. Up there with Beckham as a “special teams” player. Ban his run-up throw (please) and he wouldn’t make Port Vale’s team.
“In the Hole”: Steven Gerrard. So to clarify the Gerrard principal is that because he is well-known he is allowed to punch as hard as he likes anyone who slightly annoys him, despite no evidence of threat and whilst surrounded by his mates (all of which are duty bound to take the rap in Woodgate mates style) and call it self-defence. Well that’s the thing isn’t it on £120k a week personal security just costs too much. Newly crowned scouse knobhead no1 (no mean feat given the existence of Rooney, Barton and most of the Accrington Stanley squad).
S: Michael Owen. Legend. From relegated chaos to CL finalists in one bound (via some nice printed material). Am I the only person who thinks SAF only signed him so he could exchange horse-racing tips?
S: Emmanual Adebayor. If he joined City for the trophies and not for the money then he must have forgotten to ask his agent how much! This player seems to have a Mark Viduka style ability to take a good team down whilst his personal goal scoring form reflects the increase in his sulking.

And finally an extra category I hope to persuade Nick to put in (provoked by a rant I just read) “Life-time Achievement Award”: Sir Alex Ferguson. Where would we be without SAF and his provocative press coverage, all distributed by his groupies disguised as football writers. Take his “City small club, stupid and arrogant” comments recently, remind yourself of his decade long feud with the BBC that had the effrontery to expose his son’s dodgy transfer dealings, mix in the £5m worth horse gift saga, his 25 year long tendency to piss off every other decent manager in the PL (but not failures like Allardyce), intimidation of referees and fourth officials, tapping up and responsibility for half the worlds chewing gum litter problem and how boring would life be if we had missed all that and just had football to concern ourselves with. Here’s to another 25 years of one-eyed wine influenced nonsense never questioned.

Obviously I’m disappointed I no longer have Ronaldo or Joey Barton to find a place in my list, still I can get the former in my mate Rob’s CL prediction league. The latter will look after himself regardless. Now, do I back Leeds or not?

Late July 09.

Football through a hardened glare

The Alternative World Cup bid

Jul 6th, 09 / Comments Off

Your reading a pre 2010-11 archived article

The Alternative World Cup bid (alternative title, the musings of a fantasist psychotic obsessive retard).

One of the great consistencies of a lifetime football thinker is the tendency to drift off in thought patterns and almost reinvent aspects of the game as it is presently constituted. Whether it’s running your club better than the idiot/crook/egotist/yank/website (delete as appropriate) that runs it or tweaking with the rules (why can you be offside from a free-kick but not from a throw-in?) or trying to think of ways to break the money monopoly in the PL/CL, the mind it does wander.

Recently I have been musing on the Confederations Cup, particular how it was a test run for the 2010 World Cup. This led on to thinking about the bid to bring the 2018 WC “back home” and all that entails. I suddenly was struck by a rage around what the consequences would be if we got it, which grounds would be chosen, which clubs would benefit, the whole over baked prelude in terms of expenditure and hype. By its very definition I quickly realised a successful bid would mean the worst of legacies left behind, the big PL clubs with even bigger stadiums and more corporate facilities, with no proper consideration for the other 130 professional football teams outside of London/Manchester/Birmingham/Liverpool and which ever lucky others get picked.

Do we really want the big urban centres to be the only beneficiaries of this largesse? Do we really want Old Trafford and Villa Park to grow more on the back of public funds? Do we really want only Sheffield and Newcastle and Nottingham to host games whilst better stadiums in less fashionable towns are ignored? Why does every WC have to be based on the areas that already have facilities and infrastructure? Is it beyond the wit and wisdom of this country and FIFA to see beyond the template South Africa and Brazil will follow and instead come up with an alternative, legacy rich, evenly spread bid? Well yes it is, but should that stop that vision being articulated? No it shouldn’t for without the grit the oyster is a lesser experience.

Having reflected on this for a few days I quickly decided that the issue was one of capacity. We too readily fall for the belief that bigger is better, so when Sunderland has a stadium it never fills we don’t question whether the atmosphere has suffered, give it a “great stadium” status, it has a 49k capacity and plans for another 6k!! Do we really think 55k people will turn up to the Stadium of Light to watch Ecuador v New Zealand paying £70 a shot? We know a million forms of media will cover the event with 100 dedicated TV channels and god knows how many internet sites so saturation coverage is guaranteed. Refurbishing or rebuilding 10-12 45k-80k stadiums is the wrong approach, what’s needed is a different idea, instead of 12 stadiums sharing 64 games why not use 64 stadiums? Instead of adding to the Premier League clubs property portfolio why not exclude nearly PL and larger CCC grounds from the list of stadium and venues, redirect the resources away from the billionaires and towards the whole English football family? Instead of soulless games in soulless stadiums, let’s have packed 15-20-25k seaters in towns who can use the regeneration productively, will look after the grounds after and can focus on the one game allocated to them to showcase not just to the world but themselves and their neighbours. Let’s really make this a tournament to remember by involving the whole country, not just the large urban centres.

Before you all think I have gone even madder allow me to explain why this idea is the best solution, not only for lasting legacy but also to make 2018 a real success. The principle is about bring a positive change, by rewarding those smaller clubs like Colchester, Brighton or Shrewsbury who have made an effort to improve their facilities (even if some of the end results are a touch boxie and kitform) and also assist those clubs left floundering as the money went to fewer and fewer pots. As an alternative bid it makes a virtue of smaller, wider, more eclectic venues, the intent is clear, not to widen the divide but to narrow it. England being what it is with 64 venues you never going to be more than 30 miles from a host ground, Rotherham, Chelmsford and Walsall will have their days in the sun and we will have the most lasting of legacies.

Now I can hear some of the objections already, what about the big cities, what about where England will play, what about  the cost? Yes I’m sure if you’re that way inclined you can pick holes galore in the idea but I contend any flaws in the concept pale into irrelevance compared to the flaw of further enriching the over bloated arrogant PL. The cost issue can be resolved by ensuring that we only completely build two new 25k seater stadium, The New Plough Lane in Wimbledon to be given to and used by AFC (a decent piece of closure to the franchise issue me thinks) and one in Rotherham (both to host last 16 games). Everything else would be either an existing traditional stadium tarted up for modern needs or one of the new stadiums clubs have being or am in the course of building. As I envisaged it, at least, if not more, a quarter of the 48 stadiums needed for the group games would come from outside the present 92 FL clubs and so would at least one of the 8 stadiums needed for the last 16 games, the rest would come from the towns and teams that populate the lower reaches of the FL or are punching above their weight in the top 2 divisions. I also see each group being regionally based, so for example a group of death involving Argentina/Ivory Coast/Russia/Australia could find itself in the South West of the Country. Each of the 8 regions would then provide 1 of the last 16 games venues and half of them a venue for the Q/F’s. The S/F’s would be held in one northern large venue and one southern large venue (the equality rule still applies here so for example the Southern semi could be in a refurbished Memorial Stadium in Bristol and maybe the Northern one at some poor in decline sap of a club on the edge of the M621). The final would play out at Wembley but that is ok as that would be its one and only game and thus would give playing there that special feeling back (as an aside I’d give the 3/4th place play-off to Swansea, keeps the welsh happy).

Taking the South West example, you could see the 6 group venues being Torquay, Exeter, Yeovil, Cheltenham, Salisbury, Weymouth, with the last 16 game being in Plymouth. Equally the Northern region (incorporating Cumbria) would have Hartlepool, Carlisle, Gateshead, Barrow, Durham and..wait for it..Berwick! The last 16 game would be in Darlington. This carries on through the other 6 group regions, Brentford, Barnet  and Dagenham would probably be the only London league clubs to benefit (although the idea of the newly reunited Korea playing Burkina Faso at the New Den is tempting). I like the idea of Boundary Park playing host to a Q/F, I think the Brazilians would love it and I equally like the idea of Burslum hosting Germany at that stage. The full list of the alternative bid venue allocations at the end.

I want to reinforce the principles behind this idea, giving glory and monies to areas of the football family that don’t usually get much and its yang of preventing the greedy cash rich parasites of the PL feasting on this event. By accident more than design my proposal widens the number of people who can go and see WC football on their doorstep and is thus a good environmental idea as well. Now again yes this idea has no chance of being even looked at by the big-wigs at the FA and bid committee and no doubt some cynics will scoff at all aspects but I remain convinced the idea and its over-riding principles have more going for them than any of the identikit proposals likely to be waved around by ambassadors Windsor and Beckham later this year. If nothing else I can say at least I gave it a modicum of thought longer than the proponents of the status quo will.

South West Group: Torquay, Exeter, Yeovil, Cheltenham, Salisbury, Weymouth.
North East and Cumbria Group: Hartlepool, Carlisle, Gateshead, Barrow, Durham, Berwick.
Yorkshire and Humber: Doncaster, Huddersfield, Bradford, Hull*, York, Scarborough
North West: Morecambe, Bury, Stockport, Accrington, Tranmere, Southport
East of England + Kent: Colchester, Peterborough, Chelmsford, Gillingham, Stevenage, Cambridge.
London and South: Aldershot, Barnet, Brentford, Oxford, MK Dons, Dagenham.
West Midlands: Walsall, Crewe, Hereford, Tamworth, Burton A, Macclesfield.
East Midlands: Lincoln, Chesterfield, Kettering, Northampton, Notts County, Grimsby.

Last 16: Plymouth, AFC Wimbledon (NPL), Rotherham, Scunthorpe, Darlington, Shrewsbury, Southend, Burnley*.

Last 8: Port Vale, Oldham, Luton, Brighton.

Last 4: Bristol Rovers, Leeds

3rd/4th place: Swansea

Final: Wembley.

(*assuming relegation and normality have returned to these two before 2018).

Well I like it anyway.

Football through a hardened glare